I'm brandi, or andi.
this is me and all my awkwardness. have fun smelling my poop, bitches.

 

grimelords:

Making out with a girl for the first time is the coolest thing and the second coolest thing is driving home and getting aware of all the parts of your face where she was and tasting her lip balm on your lips. The third coolest thing is outer space.

pharoahsectotherm:

sapientpawnkeeper:

somebody should write an essay comparing and contrasting tina from bob’s burgers and meg from family guy and explain why tina hit the mark for respectfully portraying the awkward teenage years and why meg is a huge fucking insensitive joke that isn’t even funny

Tina is a character, Meg is a punchline. 

Jim’s at the dentist this morning and Steve is an actor friend of ours.

(Source: halpertbeesly)

Things I Say While I'm Driving

Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.

Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.

Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.

Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT

Me: Shit is that a cop? No.

Me: Shit THAT is a cop.

Me: /dinosaur screams/